Hair Guy: Behind The Follicles (Part 2)

In part two, Truman's friends, associates, and collaborators talk about the dark side of Internet celebrity - as well as redemption.

Mike Whitman
Friend, collaborator

“Look, I love the kid, but he’s the reason we had to scrap season 2 of ‘Writers.’ We were shooting on location in Singapore and most mornings it took four amaretto sours just to get him out of his trailer. I tried to get him to cool it but he said he had it under control – he called the stuff his ‘Blog Juice.’

“Two months into production, some idiot handed him a Harvey Wallbanger, and next thing we know he’s disappeared on some kind of bender. In three weeks I think he drank pretty much all the coconut rum in mainland Europe. At that point we were so far over budget that the company shitcanned the whole show and sold the rights to Chuck Lorre. And that’s where ‘Mike and Molly’ came from.”

 LAPD Report
Arresting officers: Gadbury and Winston

“Light blue Subaru Legacy pulled over at 1500 hrs for driving erratically. Driver identified himself as ‘Truman fucking Capps’, failed field sobriety test, and refused breathalyzer. Search of car turned up nine empty bottles of Mike’s Hard Lemonade.

“En route to station for booking, Mr. Capps repeatedly informed officers that his ‘blog’ had received ‘over one hundred and forty’ hits last year, and that he would use said blog to launch a smear campaign against the department unless he was released immediately.

“Mr. Capps wrote one blog in custody, which dealt primarily with the quality of NBC’s fall lineup for that year. He was subsequently involved in a jailyard altercation with another inmate (Fernando Torres, awaiting trial on gang-related charges) stemming from a dispute over the quality of the TV program ‘Whitney.’”

 Kristin VanderSchick

“We finally found him on the boardwalk at Venice Beach, brown bagging a bottle of birthday cake flavored vodka and offering to write personalized blogs about tourists for $10 a pop. He was actually pretty open to the idea of rehab once we told him the clinic had broadband Internet and no cockroaches.

“Of course, in the blog he wrote about going to rehab he said it was his decision. At least, I think that’s what he said; it was one of the serious ones and I honestly don’t think anybody reads those.”

Aaron Sorkin
Writer, The West Wing, Studio 60 On The Sunset Strip, The Newsroom

“Truman. Yes. I remember him. We both started at Betty Ford in the same month. During one of our first group sessions he said he hit rock bottom while “…trying to steal a vodka cranberry from a grandmother at an Indian casino.

“I started talking to him afterwards to set his terminology straight before he embarrassed himself like that again. Like most Americans he didn’t understand that the term ‘Indian’ is not only factually incorrect but also an insult to a once proud civilization decimated in a slow four-century holocaust so we could build strip malls and suburbs. The only reason we call Native Americans ‘Indians’ is because Christopher Columbus was carrying a passport that said
ab partes Indie. You know what that means? ‘Toward the Indies.’ When he hit Antilles, he just assumed that was India and started calling everybody he saw an Indian. It was one innocent mistake by the son of a middle class weaver exploring the secrets of an unknown world. What I don’t get is why we have to keep making that same mistake over and over again. Half a millennium later it’s not an innocent mistake anymore. ‘Indian.’ It’s an offensive and insidious form of oppression that’s codified in our laws, our institutions, and our consciousness – Manifest Destiny 2.0.

“But yeah, that was the only time we talked. You said he had a blog?”

Niko Popovic
Owner, MegaFast Dry Cleaning 
4633 Commercial St, Salem, OR

“In Old Country, we have a saying: Show me man who makes no mistakes, I show you chicken penis. Is a good saying back home; difficult to translate to English. But point is true: All people make mistakes. All people deserve second chance. Forgiveness. Shot at redemption. 

“Were boxes of drycleaning bags stacked in front of emergency exit door? Yes. Was mistake. Fire marshal sees the boxes, he is not pleased, he gives us fine. We pay fine, learn from mistake, think matter is settled. Until months later, receive letter from Mr. David at insurance company – says his son saw the violation, and now we pay higher premiums. Mr. David was very proud of his son Mr. Truman.

“I am not fan of Mr. Truman. 18 years later, I do not forget. He does not forgive me, I do not forgive him. He is real chicken penis.”

Alexander Jasper
Main bro

“The day I picked him up from rehab, he was all about change. Changing his life, changing his image, changing his blog. He was just so excited, you know? 100% committed to one thing and one thing only: Writing long-form biweekly essays about current events or things that recently happened to him. It was that passion for mildly amusing anecdotes that saved his life. No doubt.

“There’s not much I can say about everything that came after that. The year in Jamaica, getting his Associate in Commercial Underwriting, converting to Islam, his writing camp for disadvantaged upper middle class white kids from the inner suburbs… That all got covered pretty heavily on the news. I’m not crazy about all the changes, but hey – it’s his life, and it’s his blog.

“All I’m saying is, I’m never going to get used to calling it ‘Hair Lion’.”

 Alison Brie
Actress, Community, Mad Men


Truman Capps returns from San Andreas on Wednesday.