HELLO FELLOW PATRIOT’S! I’m sending you this urgent message from what is quite possibly the last bastion of true freedom and Constitutionality in these “United” “States”: The offices of the Malheur National Wildlife Refuge, currently being occupied by a RIGHTEOUS, HEROIC ARMY of between 12 and 150 Constitutionalist’s. For too long, this nations’ oppressed middle class white people have suffered in silence, but today we say NO MORE! We are TAKING OUR COUNTRY BACK, starting with these three empty buildings 30 miles outside of a small town in the middle of nowhere.
Every last one of the hundreds or dozen of us here are prepared to LAY DOWN OUR LIVES to protect American’s from the horrific tyranny of cumbersome land use planning and regulations. We’ve made it clear to the authorities and the media that we’re prepared to stay here FOR YEARS until this public land can be given BACK TO THE PEOPLE. This is where we show Barack HUSSEIN Obama the power of RUGGED CONSTITUTIONAL AMERICAN INDIVIDUALISM.
YOU’RE HELP IS NEEDED to continue this PATRIOTIC CONSTITUTIONAL BATTLE against tyranny and unconstitutionalism. Our supplies have begun to run low, so we’re calling on true patriot’s everywhere to send us the following item’s:
Fresh vegetable’s are nice but Funyun’s can last for years and years, which is good because we plan to continue this occupation at least until Barack HUSSEIN Obama is no longer president, and we want to be prepared to last for another 8 years if the American sheeple elect Hillary HUSSEIN Clinton in November.
Defending the Constitution is hard work, and there’s so much Constitution to defend that you can never take a break. With enough Red Bull we’ll have the energy to defend the Constitution literally 24/7.
A New Modem/Router
The tyrannical anti-Constitutional oppressor’s who worked in this building before we got here put in a really, really slow Internet connection. I mean it’s seriously bad, only one person can be on Facebook at a time and we’re trying to watch Making A Murderer but it keeps buffering every two minute’s.
Have you heard of this stuff? We found half a jar in the visitor’s center breakroom and let’s just say it was gone in an hour. ;-P
American Sniper on Blu-Ray
We already have three, but it doesn’t hurt to have as many copy’s as possible just in case. To be honest ANY AND ALL Chris Kyle merchandise would be greatly appreciated as this LAWFUL CONSTITUTIONAL OCCUPATION could last for years and we’ve only got six Chris Kyle T-shirts, two Chris Kyle sleeping bags and eleven Chris Kyle commemorative Burger King cups.
An iPhone 5 Charger
Leonard forgot his.
We’re snowed in here, the NONCONSTITUTIONAL FEDERAL GOVERNMENT cut off our power, and it’s going to be below 15 degrees for the next month. So WE NEED LOT’S OF BOOK’S that we can set on fire to stay warm – we already burned all the SOCIALIST BIRDWATCHING BOOKS in the building. We need as much kindling as possible – please send Harry Potter, issues of The New Yorker, or anything written by Rachel HUSSEIN Maddow.
Patriot’s, NOW IS OUR TIME TO RISE UP! Please send all provisions to 36391 Sodhouse Lane, Malheur National Wildlife Refuge, Oregon. Without your support, the FEDERAL GOVERNMENT will continue to encroach on our lives until everyone is completely dependent on there SOCIALIST INSTITUTIONS.
(FYI: They have these great flat rate boxes at the Post Office – just buy one, fill it up with supply’s, drop it in the mail, and they do the rest. It’s amazing!)