Guest Update: Brent Jones

I'm in Washington D.C., and I don't even want to TELL you how late I stayed up waiting for guest contributor Brent Jones to email me his update, which he never did. So Brent, just know that while you did take more English classes than I did in high school, I can adhere to a deadline. Or, since I update biweekly, 104 deadlines per year. But hey, great job totally fucking up on doing the one thing you explicitly begged me to let you do.

Sorry, folks. I'll never go on vacation again, I promise. Tune in on Wednesday for an update from an Asian guy I know.

Truman Capps thinks finding guest writers is like finding a babysitter - you have to be really careful not to pick someone who'll drop the baby on its head. THANKS, BRENT.